The Queen and the Hatter

by Joseph

The Queen needed a bonnet for the next game of croquet so she sent a summons to the Hatter.

‘You know,’ said the King, ‘you can’t have his head chopped off if you want him to make you a hat.’

‘Shoosh. Why is he taking so long?’ The Queen bustled around her bed chamber impatiently.

The Knave knocked and entered. ‘The Hatter is here.’

‘Off with his- I mean show him in at once.’

The Knave waved the Hatter through the door.

‘Your Majesty,’ said the Hatter as he bowed.

‘Off with- um… er… what took you so long?’ The Queen was a ball of confused anger, barely contained.

‘My Lady, I was at a Tea Party.’

‘Whose Tea Party?’

‘No milady, it was the Mad Hares.’

‘OFF WITH HIS HEAD! No no no, ignore that, ignore that. Come, come you must make me a bonnet at once.’

The Hatter fidgeted and fiddled.

‘Well what’s wrong with you?’ said the King, ‘She wants a bonnet so make her one.’

‘The Dormouse was awfully sleepy. I must get back.’ The Hatter turned and attempted to leave but the Knave blocked the door.

‘OFF WITH HIS HEAD! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!’ screamed the Queen. She had turned bright purple from her effort to contain her rage, and she had to let it out.

The Hatter jumped and scurried to the corner of the room.

Alice entered, side-stepping the Knave. ‘Oh this is nonsense. None of you can exist unless I am present. You only occur in my head. Stop living alternate realities.’

The King, Queen, Hatter and Knave all stopped moving and slowly turned towards Alice. ‘Your rules don’t apply down here,’ they said in unison, ‘we can do anything we want.’

Their glassy eyes gave Alice the creeps. ‘Oh, nothing ever goes the way I expect in Wonderland.’ She backed away as the others circled her.

They closed in with their hands outstretched and just before they were about to grab her Alice woke with a shriek.

‘I wish they would leave me alone,’ she moaned.

‘Don’t worry Alice, Wonderland is just a dream,’ said the White Rabbit by the window.